Funny SMS Urdu, Funny Text Messages

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1 Pagal hr wqt bolta rehta tha
“Ghulail bnaoun ga aur Chirya ko maron ga!”

1 din usko Paglon k Doctor k pas ly gaye aur us ka elaj ho gya.

Dr: AB KYA KRO GY?

Pagal:Shadi kron ga, Nokri dhoondon ga, Ghr bsaon ga
Dr: Very Nice! Phir kya kro gy
Pagal:Bchchon ko achhy school bhejon ga,
Un ka birthday mnaon ga,
Nekr aur Shirt gift ayegi.
Dr: Gud Gud! Phir
Pagal: Un ki Nekr sy Elastic nikalon ga,
phir

“Ghulail bnaoun ga aur Chirya ko maron ga”





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ThE mOsT fUnNiEsT QuEsTiOn AsKeD bY pAkIsTaNiSsSs….

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. yAr LiTe Ha…???



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Ek bacha paida hotay hi nurse say bola: LIGHT Hai?
Nurse: NO

Bacha bola Oh tuadi khair…
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PAKISTAN wich aagia..





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1 Makkhi ganjay k sir per jaa baithi.

Dusri Makkhi ne kaha, “Wah! kya ghar mila hai tujhay”

‘Pehli Makkhi boli,’ “Nahi, abhi to sirf plot kharida hai…



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Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain,
Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain,
Yeh to unke bachche hee kaminey hain,
Jo Mama-Mama kehke bulaate hain.



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Exam hall mein Student copy pe apna

Panja bana ra tha.

Duty per teacher bola paper mein to hand ki diagram ka Question nai

Student:

Mein paper banane wale per lanat bhej raha hun



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Qudrat Ne
Aurat ko Haseen Banaya.. !!!

Khubsurti Di..
Hirni Si Aankhein..
Resham Se Baal..
Gulab K Pankhriyon Se Hont..
Pyaar Bhra Dil Diya..

Phir Zaban Di:
Aur Sub Satya-Naas Ho Gaya :p





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Dua ki apeal…

Ek bachi ha 17 saal ki bOhot he pyari

Dua karain

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K wo mere sath set ho jaye =P =




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Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain,
Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain,
Yeh to unke bachche hee kaminey hain,
Jo Mama-Mama kehke bulaate hain.



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Boy.jan main tum se bohat mohabbat karta houn,tumharei khatir khuch be kar sakta houn.Girl;kia aasman se tarey tor ker la saktey ho.Boy;aasman se tu nae lekin tume zameen per tarey dikha sakta houn.


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A 4 APPLE
B 4 BARA APPLE
C 4 CHOTA APPLE
D 4 DOOSRA APPLE
E 4 EK AUR APPLE
F 4 FREE APPLE
G 4 GREEN APPLE
H 4 …..
Ho gia na pait kharab, Or khao itne Apple.




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Boy: UncLe Mai 1 Ladki Se PYaR KaRTa Hu.
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UnCLe: To UsKe BaaP Ko CoFFee PiLaNe LeJa AuR SHaDiKi BaaT KaR,
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BOY: UnCLe, CHaLiYe CoFFee PiTe hai:p




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What is confidence?

10 boys decided to propose a girl…
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9 boys came with roses,
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1 boy came with .
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“MOLVI”
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This is confidence….!!


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Grls ki ek smile boys ko confuse krdeti hai,
Sala pura din smj nhi ata k,

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Hans k dekh rhi hai,
Ya
Dekh k hans rhi hai.




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4 cheezain khatam hone per boht taklef dayti hain…! . .

1– Mohabbat
2– Rishta
3– Aietebar OR
4– ITWAR…

Itwar wala dukh ziada bara hai :-p:-D



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Kabhi yaad aye to cal kar lena.Paise kum ho to SMS kar lena.Ager ye na kar sako to mobial dahi mein daal ker vibration on kerna Aur lassi pee lena.



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Agr hota yaqeen tere milne ka khawb me ay dost.....


To ham soney se pehle aayat-ul-kursi parh lete.



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Chunti or Hathi ki
“LOVE MARIAGE” hui
Agle din Hathi mar gia
Chunti boli

“WAH RE MOHABAT”

1 din ka piyar mila
Ab sari umer Qabr khodne me guzar jae gi..




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Faqeer: Baji bhooka hoon,
Allah k naam par thora sa khana dedo.

Baji: Khana abi nahi paka.

Faqeer:

Baji number likh lo jab pak jaye to miss call de dena.



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Ek Chor
Ek Gangster
Aur
Ek Murderer
Ek Hi Gadi Me Jaa Rahe The..
Tab
Wo Gadi Kaun Chala Raha Tha
?
?
Socho
?
?
Ek POLICE OFFICER..


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('-_-')(@.@)
< ) (\_/( )>
_/ /_ _/ /_
Apki picture pakri gai hy date marte huey,
Negative chahye to 50 ka balNs abhi bhejo,




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1tota(parrot) or uska malik jahaz me safar kr rhe they Airhostis guzri to toty ne c.t bjai
Wo piche mur kr muskurai
Malik ne dekha to us ne b c.t bagai,airhostis ne shikayt lagadi elan hua dono ko chalte jahaz se phenk do
Darvazay pr tota malik se bola Urna anda e?
Malik:nahi
Tota:te fir bagarti Q kiti c?



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Chand Bhi Kya Ajab Cheez Hy,


Buchpan Myn 'Mamu' Aur Jawani Myn 'Janu' Nazar Ata Hy.

Ψ HEART'S EAGLE

*._.*



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Classical Beyzzati…!

Larka Thoker Lagney Se Gadhey K Paaon Mein Jaa Gira,
Paas Se Guzarti Hui Larki Boli: Barey Bhai K Paoon Chooh Rahey Ho?
Larka: G Bhabi.





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bus stand in Lahore,

An American Doctor got Heart attack after reading a Books Name:

How to Become a DOCTOR in 30 Days.

Rs. 150/-:p




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""MUJHY""
Do chezain bht tang krti hain,,,,,,,
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(1)
*AAP KI YAAD*
Jo aati bht hai
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(2)
""LIGHT""
Jo jati bht hai:) gud mrng!


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*. .Kamzoor Dil
Walay Yeah Msg Na Parhein

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"DOST"
3000 ka Balance
To Dalwa Do.:-D



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Subah Sham apki hi yad aavay hy

Sari sari raat hum ko jagavay hy

Dil to aap ko call krnay ko chahvay hy

Pr call center ki CHHOKRI ny balance km btavay hy…



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“Pappu Jamadar ki Love Story”
Apne Dil k Gatar ko Teri Yaadon k Kachrey sey Bharta hoon
Main Tere Pyar Mein Baasi salan ki tarah Sarta hoon
Tumhein kaisey bataon Jaan ye baat dil ki
Tum par Gandi Naali k Keeray ki tarhan marta hoon



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Husband wife ki larai ho rhy thi

Unka chota bacha b wahan betha tha

Husband:
Tu sali kutti

Wife:
Tu sala kutta

Bacha masumiat sy bola:
Or
Main sala katoora.



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______
_/.DON. /____
'-0-------'-0--"
Don ki car se cheni nikalna mushkil hi nahi na mumkin hai
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Q?
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Q k
Don khud 1 pao ly kar ja raha hai..!!



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Koi Sui mangy
Hum Teer deingy

Koi Molvi mangy
Hum Peer deingy

Koi Lassi mangy
Hum Kheer deingy

Magar

koi CHEENI mangy to

Hum Cheer dein gy. . .



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Main to yunhi udas betha pani me pathr phenk rha tha

Achank 1 DADDO nikla or bola “Pani vich aa teri udasi kadaan bagherta.

Niky mundy da sir paar dita ay.




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GirL : i love u
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Boy : different style mein propose
kar na
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GirL : APNY JANAZY KO DAFANANY
KA CHANCE
MERE BETY KO DEGA KYA ? =P




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Kaisay Mumkin Tha
Kisi aur Waseelay Say elaaj?

Ae Dost!

Ishq Ka Rog Tha
“Chittar paey, tay araam aya!!!”




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Thapar se DAR nahi lagta Sahab
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MACHAR se lagta hai ..:P




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1 shaks shadi k lye marriage bureau gaya Office band tha

Or bahar Notice laga hua tha.

1 bajay se 5 bajay tk office band rahayga TAB TAK AAP PHIR SOCH LAIN.




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Khamosh palkon se jb ansu bikhr jate hn
Aap kia janen ap ktne yad ate hn

Hum aaj b usi mor pe khry hen
Jaha ap ne kaha tha
tehro

Hum samosay le k aty hn :-)




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A handsome dog said to a beautiful female dog on a candle light dinner,

near a romantic river side in open moon light.. . .

“BHOW BHOW BHOW BHOW”.

tou aur kya kutty ne ghazal kehni thi



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CHAIN MSG

Bari meherbani is msg ko itna fwd karain k
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Meri girlFrnd tk paunch jaey
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‘Hameeda Tu Sim Change Kr K changa Nai Kita’
“Bashira Dahi wala”



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0 0 0
0 0 0
0 0 0
0 0 0
purey ek darjan
'desi'
aanday hain.
meri taraf se sardi ka tohfa..
Ubaal Ubaal kr khao,or jan bnaoB-)


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The most Heart Breaking Moment in our childhood

Jb ami kehti thi mehmano ne jo paisey diye hen wo mje do ;->



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*._.*

Koi Ankhon Sy Baat Kur Leta Hy,
Koi Ankhon Mein Mulakat Kur Leta Hy,
Bara Mushkil Hota Hy Jawab Dena,
Jub Koi English Mein Baat Kur Leta Hy.

*._.*



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Jeet k b haar gya me pyar ki bazi yaro

Main uska DEVDAS tha wo thi meri PARO

wo guzar gai pas se nazar b na milai

Q k i was on cycle & she was in PiJARO..a



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Zindagi mei kabhi haar na mano

zindagi mein
itna agay baro

itna agay baro

itna agay baro

k agay wala tang aa k kahe

“tu lang ja sadi khair aey.




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Aaj kal Molvi b 2 Qism k ho gaye he

1 Banda train me 1 Molvi ko deikh kr darty darty pochta hy,

“Molvi sab,
aap Darood waalay Molvi ho,
ya Barood waalay.”






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Agr “punjab” ki larkiyan papita bechti to larkon ko bahut faida hota.

Kyun k larkiyon ko ye aawaz lagani parti
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PAPPI TE LE LO

PAPPI TE LE LO:-



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Hands Up! . U R Undr Arrest.
Q k jtne pyare ap ho. Itna pyara hona Qanonan jurm hai.
Is lye apko “Dil” me Umar Qed ki saza di jati hai;-) . . .
pta nai esa msg log muje hi Q send krte hai esi kya bt hai mujh me.

I am so sweet hana . :-*-)



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Police: Bibi aap bohat bahadur hain daku ko bohat maara aap ne.

Lady kanpty hue: Mujhe kya pata wo daku tha, mein to samjhi mera shohar dair se ghar aaya hai.




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Fakeerni:
sahab1 Rupya de de 3 din se bhuki hu,
sahab:
3 din se bhuki ho to 1 Rupye ka kya karo gi?
Fakeerni:
weight dekhungi kitna loose hua:-D


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The most rommantic country of the world..?

guess!

O yes!!! pakistan u know why?

har raat candle light dinner… =P

Thanks to wapda for Load Shedding



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Life main ek baat hameshan yaad rakhna
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k
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cream biscuit main cream hoti hai

lekin
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tiger biscuit main tiger nahi hota...



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Dulha ne apni dulhan ka ghongat uthaya to wo boht kali nikli…
Dulha bola ,
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“tum ne pepsi lene nai jana?”


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Glass tote to kya awaz ati he?
Crsh

Nai yar

Ami ki awaz ati he
Tordo sb tor do Kmbkhton 1b na chorna tmhare susral walay aenge to rooh afza loty me pilaogi;-



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Unki galiyon ke chakkar kaat kaat ke,
kutte hamare yaar ho gaye,
wo to hamare na ho sake par hum
kutton ke sardar ho gaye…



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Fursat kab milti hai bachpan guzer jaane ke baad
Mujhe bhook lagti hai khana khany k baad,
Mere paas do samosay thy jo mein ney kha liye
Ek tere aane sey pehly Aik tere janey ke baaad



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1 billi 1 sheikh k ghar se roti hoi nikli.
kisi ne billi se ronay ki wajah poochi,
billi ne jawab diya
‘ik tey menu marya utton mera choowa v kho laya”




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Humne Un Ko
Miss Call De Kr
Apni Yaad
Dilai “FARAZ”

Unho Ne Msg Kr K Kaha

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Keera Hai Kya?

( ‘.’)/’ Dekh Yar.!
) ( Kya Ye Hi
L L Pyar hai…?



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Naa dekh asmaan ko itni hasrat se
…Dost…

Kisi parinday ne moo pe potti kr di to saari hasrat nikal jaye gi…!




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Girlfriend Said to Me:

Mere Paas Ghar Hai,
Car Hai,
Computer Hai,
4 Mobiles Hain.

Tere Paas Kya Hai?

Maine Kaha: Mere Paas.
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Cheeni Hai




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1 Bazurg kisi abadi se guzar rahy thy unho ne dekha ke puri abadi main sirf 2 ghar aise hain jo chand ki tarha chamk rahe hain.
Wo isi tajassus main dusre din b isi abadi se guzray aur wohi manzar dekha, unhon ne logon se pouchha ye kia raz hay.
Logon ne unhen bataya ke ye ALLAH ke wo banday hain jinhon ne ..
UPS…lagwa rakha hai.: subHan Allah….



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Ek Larka Ghar Dair Se Lauta.

Maa: Kahan Thay?

Beta: Film Dekhne Gaya Tha ‘MAA DA PYAR’.

Maa: Ab oopar Ja k dosri Flim bhi Dekh…
‘Peo DI MAAR;)




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Pakistan mai Log
sub se ziyaada Maafi kis se maangtay hain?
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Socho
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Thora aur socho..?
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Nahi pata
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Fakeer0n se


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Japan mein 2 dost thy.
1 ka nam tha “jo” aur dosry ka nam tha “wo”
aik din “jo” k pass jin aa giya “jo” ny dar kar “wo” ko awaz di
“wo” bhag kar aaya to jin ko deikh kar “wo” ka intaqal ho giya,
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bas usi din sy hi kehty hain…
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“JO” DAR GAYA,
“WO” MAR GAYA”




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Aaj Ki Dua:

Aye Allah!

Koi Ghalti Se Mujh Ghareeb Ke Number Per Balance Send Kar De.

Sab Bolo Aameen…




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New Exciting Offer from Utility Stores of Pakistan
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Shampoo Ki Her Bottle k Saath 1 Cheeni Ka Saashay Bilkul Free



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Baap:
Itne kum marks..??
2 thappar lagne chahiyen.!!

Beta: Han papa!
mein nay to us kameenay mastar
ka ghar bhi dekh liya hay…!!




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kaisa lagta hai >
Brsti barsh main

hawa k jhonkon
k sang
khamoshi se chlty
hue
koi kndhay pay
hath rkh k
holay se keh de

“ay sweater
landay da paya
E na;->



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Ek Aadmi Roz Subha Darakht Ki Daali Pe Charh K Beth Jata Tha,

Poocho Kyon?

Bechara

MBA Karke Pagal Ho Gaya Tha, Apne Apko BRANCH MANAGER Samjhta Tha.




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A GrAET QuOTe by Me
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Agar logon ko tum se koi maSla hai..

Tou HameSha yaad rakho k yeh unka mAsla hai, tumhara nahi…!!! :-P:-D



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Mobile Hai to SMS Karo,
Internet hai to Email Karo,
Paisa hai to….
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mujhe Bhejdoooo…




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“FANTASTIC QUOTE”

“decent girls are found in every corner of the earth…

BUT

unfortunately the earth is round..”



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Duniya kA Sabse Bara Terrorist Hamla..
“Kisi kA mObile lo,
Phone Book & InbOx me ja k ‘Delete all’
kar dO..
Phir uska chehra dekhO
Or
thOra sa Muskura dO..:-D


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A suicide bomber 2 Taliban leader

“Sir g! barood thora kum dala karen,

Last time hamara admi

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jannat se 3 kilometer agay dozakh ma gir gya tha



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Q:PAKISTAN Me Kon C Cheezien Expire Nahi Hoti?
Ans.

Medicinez,


Roads,


Bridge,


Aeroplane,


Tarbela Dam,


And Finally,


Zardari & Gilani




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Beta Baap Se: Agar Cricket Mei Kisi Player Ki Nazar Kamzor Ho Jaye To Uske Saath Kia Krty Hain?
Baap: Beta, Usay Umpire Bana Diya Jata Hai,

Jese “SIMON TAUFFEL”




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Que: Agar do pipal ke Pedon ko ek rassi se bandh diya jaye toh us rassi ko kya kahenge?

Ans: Uss rassi ko bolengey NOKIA – Connecting pipal.




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The Difrence Between,
Friend and Lover

Lover Says: Jaan Plz Drive Safely and Slowly....

Friend Says: Bhagga yr
Bhaga,
Aagy Cultus Me
Bachi ha.:-)






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*Top clas insult*
Prfsor: zindgi bhr Ghalib ki arzo rhi k us ki mehbooba k haseen zulfon se sharab k katray tapken or wo use halaq men utar le.
Boy: sir agr us k baalon men jouwen hon to Ghalib wo b halaq men utar len gy…???
prfsor: Ghalib ko apni mehboba se ye arzoo thi apki mehboba se nhi :-



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A GrAET QuOTe by Me
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Agar logon ko tum se koi maSla hai..

Tou HameSha yaad rakho k yeh unka mAsla hai, tumhara nahi…!!! :-P:-D





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Shadi Me Dulhan ka 1st Mangetar b saj K aaya huwa tha
Santa-Aap Dulha hai
Usne kha G Nai Me Semi Final Me Out Ho Gya Tha Final Dkhne Aya hu.



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Beautiful line written at my home…

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0‎25‏ م ش



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tum ne Pakistan k Foreign Affairs kitnay achay kar diay

GEO Zardari

tum ne to foreign Countries se itni Dosti Barha li ke SAAARAAA AAATA hi Baahar Bhej dia

GEENAY DO or GEO Zardari



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Wapda waloun ki maa ki……
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azmaat ko mera slaam.
(‘;’)>Aslaam oalikum
/)( / \anti g.
aiday hramday bchy jamay:)

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Plz Aap Kisi Ko Gaali Na Dain Iss Se Aap K Gunah Barhte Hain
Kisi Ko Bura Bhala Kehna Ho To Usay






Zardari Keh Dain
Wo Khud Hi Sharminda Ho Jaye Ga
Shukrya



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Kid:aunty ammi ne chini mangi hai.

Aunty.chini dety hue,”Acha aur kya kaha ammi ne?”

kid:agar wo kamini na de to uzma aunti se le aana:-D



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